Posted by Jesus H. Christ on November 29, 1999 at 09:30:55:
The Walt Disney Company was founded by a man with a moustache and then disallowed its employees from wearing facial hair. This hypocrisy is the tip of the FUCK DISNEY chip on my shoulder. Disney
is second to Microsoft on my "worst things to happen since Hitler quit painting houses" list. Disney takes its enormous wealth and leverages the minds of children and the wallets of parents. Its
businesses are wildly successful, its brands are ruthlessly defended and marketed, you cannot live a single day in America without interacting with Disney product.
For example: major cities use light-pole flags and banners to advertise cultural events in their cities. Los Angeles is barely scraping by with a little culture and class. Hell, L.A's biggest
contribution to the world aesthetic is old fat white men in loafers wearing little ponytails. Our poles display events for the UCLA Hammer museum, The Getty Center, the Norton Simon museum, and sporting events. This tiny display of cultural pride was defecated on by the Disney corporation when they muscled their way into putting
up banners for the new ABC programming schedule. The city condoned this action and Disney is not all to blame - they are a juggernaut looking to consume all outlets, penetrate all markets, and become
universally demanded as a product. As consumers we have an obligation to buy and ingest responsibly and demand more from the businesses we support. Children are made stupid by Disney, the
environment is polluted with their product, all of our lives are saturated with their form of entertainment.
All of this is why my panties are in a twist over loving everything Pixar does. Pixar has shown through its short films, feature films, and the software tools they develop that they are masters of character animation in support of storytelling. They are an exceptional film studio; they write and develop stories that are intelligent, engaging, charming, and beautiful. Their digital work
is unparalleled, their use of computer animation to support their stories is exceptional, their work is a stunning example of how to use digital effects and technology to tell unique stories. Their
films are smart, never condescending, always inventive and filled with layers of humor and visual gags. They create children's
entertainment that delights adults and reminds us we don't have to buy Disney product to make our children happy and satisfy our nagging
And they're distributed by Disney. Viva la revolution.
Never derivative, always exciting, Toy Story 2 ranks with Godfather II in sequel caliber. Toy astronaut Buzz Lightyear and cowboy Woody
have taken lessons from blacks and Jews to peacefully coexist and share the attention of the white man, represented by Andy. (I could be embellishing here.) When Woody gets a rip in his sleeve, Andy's mom puts him on the top shelf where toys are forgotten until they get sold at yard sale for a quarter. Woody is stolen from the yard sale
by a fiendish toy collector, and it's up to Buzz and a few brave toys to venture into the world and rescue him. While Buzz and his friends find adventure on their mission, Woody is introduced to the past he never knew he had. It's all very Indiana Jones meets Leo Bascaglia, but without all the crying and Nazis.
Toy Story 2 kept me laughing consistently, loudly, happily for an hour and a half. When the movie dips into the bucket of maple emotions it lays it on so thick you can't help but laugh at how fun they've made it. Both Tim Allen and Tom Hanks deliver solid performances, but as in the first film, the supporting cast of Don Rickles, Wallace Shawn and the rest of Andy's toys truly make the
film hysterical. The movie is filled with sight gags, witty dialogue, and a terrific cast. Its scope is wider and more ambitious and the craft appears totally refined. Pixar has made digital
animation look easy, which is a gigantic achievement.
This is no small feat. Toy Story 2 puts their first films into perspective. While the computer technicians and animators were still hammering their way through tools and techniques to make their films, often times certain gags would have to be nurtured into development while the tools came about. In Toy Story 2 it looks as though the software and hardware were almost an afterthought, given as much forebrain as a cell animator gives a paintbrush. This means computer animation has finally become an adult. It is capable of using its past to be a fully functioning member of the art world. It can show restraint and judgment. (Just because you've written a chrome shader doesn't mean you have to apply it to every surface, buddy.)
With Toy Story 2 Pixar has proven that they are the reigning champions of smart, stylish, highly rewarding animated entertainment, and they're the ones pimping Disney. I hope. I'd hate to think of
Tin Toy bent over by Goofy and getting pimp slapped.
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