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» AnimationNation   » SideTopics   » Forgive me, Charles Schultz, wherever you are...

   
Author Topic: Forgive me, Charles Schultz, wherever you are...
HopelessDreamer
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Night of the Great Pumpkin

CAST
Linus
Charlie Brown
Lucy
Sally
Peppermint Patty
Marcy
Snoopy
Schroeder
Franklin
Frieda
Pigpen
Great Pumpkin


[“Linus and Lucy” starts playing in the background as members of the Peanuts gang come on stage, one by one]

Charlie Brown: Hi, Linus.

Linus: Hi, Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown: Hi, Peppermint Patty, Marcy.

Peppermint Patty: Heya, Chuck.

Marcy: Hello, Charles.

Lucy: How's it going, blockhead?

Charlie Brown: Good grief! Hi, Sally.

Sally: Hello, Big Brother. [Walks up to Linus] Hello, my sweet baboo!

Linus: Good grief!

Charlie Brown: Hi there, Snoopy.

[Snoopy walks in carrying a sign with a thought-bubble drawn on it, saying “'Sup, y'all?”]

Charlie Brown: Hi Schroeder, Frieda.

[Schroeder and Frieda enter, holding hands]

Schroeder: Hello, Charlie Brown.

Frieda: Hi, Charlie Brown.

[Lucy storms over to Schroeder and Frieda and slaps Frieda's hand off of Schroeder's. She grabs Schroeder's hand and glares at frieda]

Lucy: Hands off my Kool-Aid, b-tch!

Schroeder: Good Grief! Hi, Pigpen.

Pigpen: Hi Schroeder, hey Gang.

Charlie Brown: Hi, Franklin.

[Franklin storms on the stage, totally P.O.ed]

Franklin: All right stop it! Stop it right now!

[“Linus and Lucy” ends abruptly, if we can insert a record-scratch here, all the better]

Franklin: Yeah, sure, now you're all “Hi, Franklin”, like y'all're my friends. But what happens then? I'll tell you what. I don't get no lines for the rest of the episode, that's what! And I know why. We all know why! Because the only reason that cracker, Charles Schultz, even drew me is so he could have some token black kid in his strip, so he wouldn't have to deal with the NAACP. Well, y'all can kiss my black -ss! I quit! I'm out of here! I hear “Boondocks” is hiring.

[Franklin stomps off. The whole gang stands there for a moment in shock, Snoopy holding up a sign with a thought-bubble that says “Okay… THAT was awkward.”]

Peppermint Patty: Umm…

Linus: Yeah…

Charlie Brown: So… What's everybody doing for Halloween this year?

Lucy: The same thing we do every year, blockhead. Go trick-or-treating and to the big Halloween party.

Charlie Brown: Aw, I hate trick-or-treating! All I ever get are rocks.

Lucy: I know. Watching you suffer is all part of the fun!

Schroeder: Lucy, has anyone ever told you that you are a cold, callous, domineering, heartless, sadistic b-tch?

Lucy: I prefer to think of myself as a young Anne Coulter.

Schroeder: Good grief!

Peppermint Patty: Well, you kids have a good time. Me and Marcy are WAY too mature for that stuff. We're gonna spend the night at my house and… Uh… Watch some videos. Right, Marcy?

Macy: I'll bring the lubrica- I mean popcorn, sir!

Peppermint Patty: Uhh, yeah, see you guys later!

[Peppermint Patty and Marcy run off. Snoopy holds up a sign/thought-bubble saying “Why am I NOT surprised?”]

Linus: Hey, anyone want to come wait for the Great Pumpkin in the pumpkin patch tonight?

[The rest of the gang give various groans of disgust]

Charlie Brown: Don't tell me you're still on that stupid “Great Pumpkin” kick!

Sally: You blockhead! You do this every year!

Pigpen: She's right, Linus! Every year you sit in that stupid pumpkin patch and wait for your stupid “Great Pumpkin”!

Frieda: And he never shows up!

Lucy: When are you going to face facts, blockhead? The Great Pumpkin doesn't exist!

[Snoopy holds a sign/bubble reading “What a DORK!”]

Linus: But he is real! He is! I've seen him. I've heard him. And he told me he really wants to meet all of you, tonight!

Charlie Brown: Don't be silly, Linus, that was just your imagination.

Lucy: Come on, gang, let's get out of here before we all start hallucinating!

[The whole gang, except for Charlie Brown and Linus, exit the stage]

Linus: No! Wait! I'm telling you, he's real! I promised him! Charlie Brown, you believe me, don't you?

Charlie Brown: Lucy's right, Linus. The Great Pumpkin doesn't exist. And the sooner you come to accept that, the better off you'll be.

[Charlie Brown exits off-stage, Linus stands alone, dejectedly staring off into space]

Linus: But he is real… I know he is… Why, oh, why doesn't anybody believe me?

[“Damien's Theme” from “The Omen” begins playing in the background as the image of a hideously demonic Jack O'Lantern is projected onto the big screen. The music ends and the Great Pumpkin speaks]

Great Pumpkin: Linus?

Linus: Great Pumpkin, is that you?

Great Pumpkin: Kneel before me, mortal swine!

[Linus falls to his hands and knees]

Linus: Yes, my Master! As you command!

Great Pumpkin: Is everything in readiness for tonight's ceremony? Have you recruited the new acolytes, as I instructed you?

Linus: I tried, Master! Really I did!

Great Pumpkin: What?! How dare you come before me in failure?!

Linus: It wasn't my fault, Master! I tried to tell them! But they don't believe in you! They said you don't exist!

Great Pumpkin: Then they leave me no choice. I can stand the insolence of these infidels no longer! Tonight, Linus, you know what you must do.

Linus: Oh, no, Master, you don't mean… ?

Great Pumpkin: You, Linus, must slaughter the Peanuts Gang, and sacrifice their eternal souls unto me!

Linus: No, Master! Please! I beg of you!

Great Pumpkin: You must sacrifice Charlie Brown!

Linus: But he is my friend!

Great Pumpkin: You must sacrifice Snoopy!

Linus: But he's a good dog!

Great Pumpkin: You must sacrifice Sally!

Linus: But she loves me!

Great Pumpkin: You must sacrifice your older sister, Lucy!!

Linus: Oh. No problem. I never liked the bitch, anyway.

Great Pumpkin: You will sacrifice them unto me tonight! Or else… You know the consequences! I shall banish thee to the Ninth Circle of Comic Strip Hell!

Linus: Oh, no, not that!

Great Pumpkin: Yes! “The Family Circus”!

Linus: Nooooooo! Anything but that!

Great Pumpkin: Then do as I command, slave!

Linus: Yes, my Master! I hear and obey!

Great Pumpkin: Do not fail me again!

[“Damien's Theme” plays again as the image of the Great Pumpkin vanishes. The music ends, leaving a disheveled, somewhat crazed-looking Linus onstage. After a brief moment, Charlie Brown and Snoopy walk back on stage]

Charlie Brown: Hey, Linus?

Linus: Yes, Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown: Listen, me and the Gang have been thinking maybe we were a little hard on you. Tell you what. Why don't you try trick-or-treating with us just this once? Just for this one Halloween night.

Linus: Yes… Yes… I think I'd like that.

Charlie Brown: That's great. Well, we'll all be meeting at my place later. I'll see you then. Let's go, Snoopy.

[Charlie Brown walks off while Snoopy holds up a sign/bubble reading “Why do I smell brimstone?” then follows Charlie Brown off stage. “Tubular Bells” from “The Exorcist” begins playing while Linus produces a Satanic-looking sacrificial dagger from his pocket. He gazes at the knife for a moment, then gazes hauntingly at the audience]

Linus: Happy Halloween everybody.

[Linus walks off after Charlie Brown]

END

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Ravenshoe
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Umm... are you looking for a critique of this?
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-FP-
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I downloaded a short animated Charlie Brown film - in rough pencil form - a while back. It's the college project of some prominent animation guy. It was sort of similar to the long post above, which I must admit I did not read in its entirety. Also there was a MAD TV Charlie Brown cartoon that I vaguely remember being along the same lines. So, it's been did.
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StephG
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You're talking about "Bring me the head of Charlie Brown", IIRC, by Jim Reardon?
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Graphiteman
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ahem...
and my personal ecard I made for my brother a couple years ago. (Halloween falls on his birthday) great pumpkin exposed

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Ravenshoe
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Yeah, I think the idea of Charlie Brown characters doing "bad things" to each other has been done to death. It was probably more relevant when Charles Schulz was alive and the strip was current. Nice job though.
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quote:
You're talking about "Bring me the head of Charlie Brown", IIRC, by Jim Reardon?
Yeah, that's it. Gotta dig the backup CD out some day and put that one on a DVD.
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HopelessDreamer
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quote:
Also there was a MAD TV Charlie Brown cartoon that I vaguely remember being along the same lines. So, it's been did.
Uhhh... It WAS?
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HopelessDreamer
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quote:
Umm... are you looking for a critique of this?
Umm... No, it's just something I wrote for my office's Halloween Pageant, and I thought I'd share it with you, just for fun and laughs.

But since I know you and those you work for have an obsessive need to over-analyze things and browbeat people, you go right ahead. Far be it from me to deny you this one simple pleasure. [grouse]

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MICROPHONE JONEZ
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Hi everyone, this is Charles M. Schulz speaking to you through the temporarily possessed body of Miccropone Jonez. I brought happiness and laughter to millions of children and grownups alike for fifty years. All I ask for in death is that people of all ages, nations, races, and religions will come together in the spirit of brotherhood and goodwill and LEARN HOW TO SPELL MY G***AMN LAST NAME CORRECTLY!!

Good Grief, indeed.

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MICROPHONE JONEZ
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..oh yeah... and Robot Chicken did the same spoof last season, too.

Schulz out.

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-FP-
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quote:
Hi everyone, this is Charles M. Schulz
Hey Mister Shults, while you're here, why don't you send a notice over to United Feature Syndicate telling them to let Bobby London do a few weeks of PEANUTS.

About the MAD TV thing, I found a transcript:
http://www.spscriptorium.com/SPinfo/SPrefs.htm
Caution: doody words. The video is floating around various P2P venues.

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Vincent
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I second that idea!
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HopelessDreamer
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[reads transcript of Mad TV and Robot Chicken spots]

Well, I'll admit, they all share the theme of "Peanuts Gone Rotten", by I think all three are unique enough to be judged by their own merits... Or in my case, lack thereof.

Heya, Sparky, how's Cartoonist Heaven treatin' ya?

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Ravenshoe
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Your office Halloween pagent? And you're playing the...?

FYI, the Esquire Guide to good grooming suggests that you avoid any costume requiring tights. You're welcome. [flirt]

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HopelessDreamer
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quote:
FYI, the Esquire Guide to good grooming suggests that you avoid any costume requiring tights. You're welcome.
Feel better now?
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Michael W Howe
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Well, at least the topic continues the tradition of taking Mr Schultz's characters, turning them upside down, and then the person apologizes. There was a section in the 50th anniversary book where several political cartoons each featured an apology to Mr Schultz.

One of those showed Lucy pulling the football away, and in the next panel, Charlie Brown had come back with a gun and shot her.

--------------------
"He's got three Piston Cups!"
"He did WHAT in his cup!??"

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Ravenshoe
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I've always felt that this kind of satire, taking someone else's work and twisting it - while admittedly sometimes funny - is the lowest type of humor. It lacks in imagination and simply trades on someone else's hard work.

You know that a TV series is creatively bankrupt when they do the old "Star Trek Tribute Episode":

"Let's dress (INSERT CHARACTER NAME) as Mister Spock - hilarity ensues."

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Graphiteman
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Schulz, for a fact, liked the original Mad Magazine parodies of his strip, like what if peanuts aged, writing to the editor jokingly saying they should take over the strip enclosing a drawing of Snoopy saying, "What? Me Worry?". He even had in a strip where Charlie Brown waits for the sun to come up, the sun look like Alfred E. Neuman.

I agree with Ravenshoe. It's not satire to merely dress up or have facsimiles of other characters. There are two results; this idea that simply the desecration of pop icons are somehow satirical or else simply a copy of what they are "spoofing". It is difficult to satirize something that is satirical, for e.g....of which Peanuts had elements.

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Graphiteman
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BTW.....
 -
 -

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-FP-
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Oh yeah, and there's that SOUTH PARK episode in which the kids are watching TV, and on the TV Charlie Brown is naked and Snoopy is beating him with a plank. That Charlie reference made me laugh most because it's the correct length for that type of comedy - about three seconds.

Too bad I missed the ROBOT CHICKEN parody. No doubt a rerun will cycle around soon...

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Ravenshoe
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quote:
It's not satire to merely dress up or have facsimiles of other characters.
Those badly drawn pictures of Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes) peeing on a wall, pasted on the back of rusted-out pickup trucks aren't exactly high comedy.
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HopelessDreamer
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Maybe I should give a little background information as to what brought this thing about, just ofr the sake of understanding.

You see, every year the advertising firm I work for has this big Halloween party for it's employees and their friends and family. And one of the things we do at this party is have teams of employees perform these "skits" that we come up with ourselves.

Anyway, about a week ago, my team was brainstorming ideas for our skit this year. One of the most popular themes for a skit is to take some piece of pop culture [TV show, movie, current events, etc.] and turn it completely on it's ear. One of the ideas that got tossed about was something to do with "It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown". When I heard that, this idea came to me in a flash, and I said "I've got an idea. Give me one day to write up a script, and I'll present it to all tomorrow."

So I wrote up the script you see here.

Anyway, I presented it to the group and gave my 'pitch' for the idea, along with several others, and when the votes got tallied, my idea WON! So now we're going to perform it this year for the party, and with any luck, win the prize for "Best Skit".

Anyway, after we agreed to go with my idea, I thought "Y'know, since this is somewhat cartoon-related, maybe the AN crowd might get a chuckle or two out of it."

So I posted it here.

So that's really the whole story. I wasn't trying to impress anyone or anything like that. It was just a bit of fun and nonsense I figured I'd share for the hell of it.

If you like it, cool, if you don't , no problem.

Of course, I'm sure that this revelation will do nothing to deter certain parties from continuing to go on and on about how stupid, lame, uncreative, loathsome, smelly, stinky, ugly, etc. etc. I am. But hey, we all have to get our jollies out of this life somehow, and if that's the way they get theirs, so be it, I won't stop them.

After all, what are they gonna do... Flunk me? [Razz]

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Ravenshoe
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My advice about the tights still stands.
No. Don't bother to thank me. Good grooming is thanks enough. [thumbsup]

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HopelessDreamer
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Don't worry, Rav, I remember our promise. You were the only person I was to ever wear Spandex for.

Your's forever, Honey-Muffin! [flirt]

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Ravenshoe
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Oh, you're such a tease! [flirt]
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Graphiteman
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quote:
Maybe I should give a little background information as to what brought this thing about, just ofr the sake of understanding.

It's an ok skit. Just that when you post on an animation forum I'd guess if readers are like me they visualize it in animation. So as textual as scripts are as it is and less visual, it is going to get critiqued.

I do think the great pumpkin is ripe for parody.
I personally think it is a satire of organized Christian religion and those added beliefs that seperate churches.
I always thought it was funny that Linus who always had a some kind of Christian bibllical apologetic for stuff, held on to this one dogma of The Great Pumpkin with nothing to support it other than it just feels right to Linus. He has even gone door to door proselytizing on its behalf. He was in that way like a cult of one.
So I see where you were coming from in taking it to extremes.

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Michael W Howe
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We are obviously separated, by denominational differences-Charlie Brown

--------------------
"He's got three Piston Cups!"
"He did WHAT in his cup!??"

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Graphiteman
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quote:
We are obviously separated, by denominational differences-Charlie Brown
[funny]
That's the next holiday Special.
D'ya see what happens when you leave control of your characters to your family? [Wink]

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